Dear airline,
Thanks for making us all walk through first and business class in order to reach our shitty economy seat. Not!
Dear airport security,
I thoroughly enjoyed the intrusive frisking. More time on the nipples next time.
Dear person at check-in desk,
I know you'll now charge for meals, seat selection and luggage. Now, how much for a smile?
Dear baggage handlers,
Thanks for marking my bag fragile, then flinging it across the conveyor belt.
Dear passengers,
They're not playing the national anthem. There's no need for a synchronised standing up on touchdown.
Dear lecherous co-passenger,
Put your eyes back into their sockets. That hostess is as old as your granddaughter.
Dear airline,
Could you serve something other than cardboard tikka and palak cardboard?
Dear passenger in front who loves to recline,
If you push back any further you just might feel my crotch.
Dear flight caterer,
Probably not the best idea to serve egg sandwiches at 35,000 feet.
Dear trolley dolly,
You say wig, I say dead raven pinned to the head.
